also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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