Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
