Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
