if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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