don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
