she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
