dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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