Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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