my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
