youre lurking in front of me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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