Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
