So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
