Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
