She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sext me about skeletons
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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