No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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