Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
