Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
