Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
