i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize