Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
