I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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