When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
