Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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