u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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