Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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