why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
