She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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