You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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