I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Sober January is a disaster.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
