Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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