What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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