i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
