My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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