I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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