she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
