New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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