I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
