I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
