$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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