Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
