? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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