all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
