I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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