you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
