please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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