I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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