I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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