Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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