Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
