she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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