So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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