2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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