you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Randomize
