Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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