her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
