Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
