That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
