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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home

  (248): View more from Michigan

  r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.

  Fav 22 4340 1490

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations

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• (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?

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