i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
